My top 10 NOT lists
Top 10 Things a Consultant Shouldn’t Tell a Client
10. That was my first guess as well, but then I really thought about it. 9. You should see the hotel I’m staying at. 8. Hey, I just realized that I was in junior high when you started working here. 7. I like this office space. I’ll have them put me in here when you’re gone. 6. My rental car looks nicer than that junker you’re driving. 5. Sure it’ll work; I learned it in business school. 4. So what do you need me to tell you? 3. Of course it’s right; the spreadsheet says so. 2. I could just tell you the answer, but we’re committed to a three-month project. 1. What are you, stupid? ________________________________________
Top 10 Things You’ll Never Hear from a Consultant
10. You’re right; we’re billing way too much for this. 9. Bet you I can go a week without saying “synergy” or “value-added.” 8. How about paying us based on the success of the project? 7. This whole strategy is based on a Harvard business case I read. 6. Actually, the only difference is that we charge more than they do. 5. I don’t know enough to speak intelligently about that. 4. Implementation? I only care about writing long reports. 3. I can’t take the credit. It was Ed in your marketing department. 2. The problem is, you have too much work for too few people. 1. Everything looks okay to me.